Wednesday, September 23, 2009

I want sex, sex, and more sex- HER perspective

This is an absolutely true statement. I’ve joked with R that I feel like my sex drive is like that of a teenager. Maybe that is what is supposed to happen in your early 30’s. I’m not sure. But just a few months ago, the beast was awakened inside of me.

I went from “I’ll have sex if I have to”, which was about once a month when I needed it to “If I don’t have sex right now, I will go crazy”. It’s been a nice change. I’m awake now. I’m alive now. And, I’m as horny as fuck now.

This “sexual revolution” as I like to refer to my awakening, changed my whole perspective about sex. I once believed that a woman who gave oral sex to a man was allowing him to degrade her. (WTF? right?) Anal sex, no thank you. G-spot, doesn’t exist. Swallow a man’s cum- out of the question, “if  you cum in my mouth I will bite it off” did come out of my mouth on one occasion. Seriously.

Repressed by the idea that I was the “good girl”, that I was above sexual desires and needs, that sex was really something you enjoyed at a young age and then well, not so much as an adult;  my thinking was warped. I was so wrong. Now, I’m just thankful for whatever happened to me that made me wake up from this repressed no sex slumber before it was too late.

At first, I was forced out of my repression by someone who was extremely sexual. Once introduced to this way of thinking, talking, and well fucking, I was hooked. However, one night stands were not for me. Fun in the moment, a good sexual release, they left me feeling empty and unfulfilled in the morning.

I wanted something more. Perhaps, a friends with benefits type of situation.  I wanted to get to know the person somewhat, talk about needs, desires, likes, and dislikes BEFORE fucking them. I also wanted the possibility of doing it again, without strings attached.

This led me to Craig’s List. I have no idea what gave me the idea. But I tried it and well, I was extremely successful. Read R’s perspective on our First Time s he talks about our Craig’s List encounter.  Our First Time-His Perspective part one and Our First Time- Part Two.

R and I did not set out to find what we found in each other. Both of us had the plan for a no strings attached kind of situation. I had hopes for the friends part, he thought it was too good to be true.

Teenagers. That is what we feel like together. That is what we act like too. Perhaps that is the reason for our excitement over our sexual experiences. For one, we have never had the opportunity to do these things before. Things like public oral sex, oral sex in general (with me swallowing), road head, the use of sex toys, public orgasms, hotel rooms, sex in bathrooms, etc are all new for us.

We rarely have time alone away from the glances of curious bystanders. Sometimes, I hate this, I want to be naked and be fucked while screaming at the top of my lungs. Other times, I’m grateful. Why? Because we do get to act like teenagers. We appreciate the kisses that we share, because they are special and far and few between. We are willing to try new things and we don’t have the time or place to try them all at once, so we have to take our time, spread them out, and really enjoy them.

When alone together and naked, we spend the time exploring each others’ bodies. Foreplay, what’s foreplay? We use oral sex to stimulate each other before, during, and after sex. Our hands and mouths, massage, pinch, kiss, bite, suck, lick, grope from the moment we are in reaching distance of each other. This means in the park, bar, restaurant, car, wherever.

This is something that a one night stand could not give to either of us. This connection and understanding. This willingness to try new things and explore with each other. The honesty between us.

He has used the quote “life is what happens when you are making other plans” in reference to us. I couldn’t agree more.

Today, I set out with the intention of meeting him at our spot, a public place in a park. I won’t wear panties under my skirt. We will kiss and talk and if I’m lucky, I will get him to take his cock out of his pants as I put both of my legs on  either side of his waist and I will scoot forward until he is inside of me.

It’s unlikely as it will be daylight and it’s a busy park. I will still try though. I think that if I can get him to try this in the dark, he will be more willing to try it during the day. Or, maybe it will rain and I’ll get to fuck him in his car because no one will be able to see through the windows.

I am much more the exhibitionist of the two of us. I don’t care if anyone is watching. I don’t care if they know what we are doing. He is cautious. He’s also probably right. But I won’t give up. : )

He’ll finger fuck me in the park and I’ll cum. It will be good and I’ll enjoy every minute that he is touching me. (this is part of the teenager stuff we enjoy to do) But what I’ll want is his cock. Every time he makes me cum without his cock, whether with his fingers, mouth, my fingers, or a vibrator; I only want his cock more. His cock is the missing piece to my puzzle.

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