Butterfly Murderer

THE INNOCENT VICTIMS

It’s that time of year again in San Antonio, TX.  The snout nosed butterflies are out in mass and it is unavoidable to keep one’s vehicle clean on the roads.  It is a rather emotional and gruesome state of affairs for anyone who normally loves watching the delicate wings of a butterfly gracefully flitting about.  THE HORRORS!!  Don’t even bother getting a car wash right now until the migration ends.

The poor darlings don’t know what they are in for when they joyously hatch and try to cross the road.  “Why did the butterfly cross the road?”  Good question.  Maybe Texas roads should have a large butterfly net enclosure that can pop up when they migrate.  Just take a look at this site, among many others on the snout-nosed butterfly invasion (http://www.texasento.net/snout_press.htm). 

What’s most disturbing is when you can’t even move more than 20 miles an hour without slaughtering a few.  Spurred by my fragile conscious damaged by every splat on the windshield, and the moans from my daughters behind me as they cried out in agony as they witnessed the slaughter, I tried my best to travel the 10 miles to my home without killing any.  Due to the line of traffic that was mounting behind me and realizing that it would take me 20 minutes instead of the usual 5,we had to endure the morbid affair while observing not only the amounts of debris on my windshield but the countless bodies on the roadside. 

The event went something like this. 

Me: Oh look girls, aren’t they beautiful?  So many butterflies!

Them:  Wow!!  Oh mom, watch out!  Please don’t hurt them!  No, wait, what was that noise?  Did you just hit one?

Me:  Oh no, I can’t avoid them.  Why don’t they just fly higher?  Oh my goodness.  This is terrible.

Them:   Aaaaaaa!!  Mom, please drive slower.  Aaaaaaa!!!  Poor butterflies!

Me:  Aaaaaa!! I’ll try to drive slower….Oh dear, I think the driver behind is not liking this.  Sorry kids, we’re just going to have to endure knowing that we are killing 100’s of butterflies.  But that’s okay, because you know, nature makes lots of these, and they’ll be a lot that survive.

Them:   Aaaaaa!!   Waaahhh!  You’re killing too many.  This is awful.  God, please save the poor butterflies!

Me:  I’m sorry girls, but God is not the reason we’re killing them…[short lecture on ecology and human intervention].

Them:  Well, maybe we should just walk everywhere, or get a horse.  Can we get a horse?  They won’t kill any butterflies!

I’ll be glad when the only thing on my windshield is the guts of a fly.  We don’t cry when that happens.