It has to be. It’s the only explanation I can think of.
When I lock my car, it makes this really weird, mechanical sound, like gears shifting… or a robot trying to communicate with me, which is probably the more plausible option. When I unlock it, it makes the same sound, but in a slightly lower pitch. Which leads me to believe that my car is slowly starting to develop a capacity for language.
One of the doors only opens when it wants to… doesn’t matter if it’s unlocked already. If it doesn’t want to open that day, it won’t. And then I look stupid when I tell someone not to try opening it, it probably won’t open today, don’t even bother, and then they bother anyway, and then it opens.
Which makes me think my car is developing a mind of its own… which is a little bit scary because I’ve known my car for so long… Why now? Why would my nine-year-old maroon Neon with dents and random rusty scratches that’s been broken into three times wait until now to become a Transformer?
Really, this information would have been useful to me several years ago.
And what kind of Transformer? An Autobot? Decepticon? They all sound the same when they transform, or whatever it is they do, how am I supposed to tell if my car is becoming a Transformer who uses its power for good, or one that uses its power for evil?
And if, in the event that my car is becoming a Decepticon, will it want me on its team? It would probably make a really good Decepticon, actually, because it’s so unsuspecting and unassuming as a car. Kind of generic-looking, even. Plus its headlights look like really big, happy eyes…
“…La-dee-da, just driving along here, ooh, someone tried to cut me off, that’s not super nice…hm hm hm… now I’m parallel parking, la-dee-da…BAM! I’m a frikkin Decepticon now! Now I’m gonna blow shit up! Yeah!”
Which would be neat, because I look sort of unsuspecting, too. And maybe it would teach me how to shoot lasers. Which I guess could just as well happen if it becomes an Autobot. Either way, I think a really good skill to have as part of a robot duo would be to properly aim and shoot lasers out of my palms.
Unless, of course, its first order of business as a Transformer is to get rid of me… which, honestly? I’d probably take really personally.
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