So while my car was busying itself being serviced I decided that a walkabout would be in order. And, unlike the small boy in that creepy commercial for Australia that decided that his walkabout would involve trampling mud into some womans house and whispering cryptic stuff while she slept, I went to the shopping centre. The “mall”, if you’re into being really concise. Armed with zero dollars and zero cents, I walked around with the solid aim of wasting an hour while my tyres were changed without buying anything. This was difficult, as like the Aboriginal from the previously mentioned tourism ad, I am pretty much a boy - No matter how creepy I may seem to you. And boys want some really stupid stuff, stuff like LEGO.
It's a box of LEGO!
Look at this box. It’s LEGO as it should be. No pictures of the final product on the box, no instructions or diagrams, this isn’t the modern-day Ikea furniture LEGO that builds a specific thing, this is old-style have some freaking blocks and go crazy, kid. The LEGO I understand. The LEGO I haven’t seen for a while, perhaps because I don’t really look. But today I looked, and I found, and I saw the picture of just a bunch of blocks, I saw the number that says “390 pieces”. And I want it. I really want it! I haven’t had LEGO in so long! I will make sweet love to any woman who buys me this LEGO set.
And as a bonus, it even comes with three people with no arms. One of them seems to have feet.
20 Questions from the Alpha Quadrant
Anyone ever played those 20 questions games? Well, this is one of those, but it’s Star Trek, so it’s a bit cooler. You think of something from the classic series of Star Trek, and start the game. It asks 20 yes/no questions, and you answer them and at the end of question 20 it should probably show what you were thinking of on the little screen.
In between the questions, the obnoxious little device made lots of little Star Trek jokes. Here is one: “Space, the final frontier………Between your ears!” Ouch, the device totally burned me. It also told me I was running on impulse power, but impulse is still pretty fast, so I don’t really know what that was meant to mean? Are you trying to insult me for not traveling beyond light-speed?
Anyway, I played this device and I was thinking of Captain Kirk. At the beginning, I thought it was really getting somewhere, it asked me “Does it keep a log?” and I thought, “wow, this is only question 6, it’s got me”. And at the end of the game it told me that I was thinking of… The two whales “George” and “Gracie” from Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home. I’m now left trying to figure out in what part of the movie did the two whales make a log entry.
On the plus side, it is a reference from my favourite Star Trek movie, actually one of my most favourite movies ever, so I forgive it. It was a great movie, that showed that Kirk could get a bit older, gain a bit of weight, go back in time to find some whales and still find someone to stick his dick into.
No, that's Moby Dick, but I like where you went with the whale reference there.
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